Welcome Home......Life Is Sweet As Baby! x

Kia Ora to you Blogville Massive! Guess what?!? Fab tidings y'all for I (and the rest of my funky fly A Team) are officially members of the Mighty GodZone club! I am writing this with big, fat, soppy arse tears running down my face having just played the Dave Dobbyn track! This song represents exactly and succinctly much of what I adore about this fabulous country....sniff.....snuffle.....
I am proud to be British, don't get me wrong. Brits are ace. We are quirky, eccentric, comedy fodder. We are passionate (about football, beer and telly...probably in that order) It is difficult for others to make us a quality cup of tea. We like to queue and we dunk our biscuits without a care in the world. We are the world's worst nation for sunburn avoidance and we have chips with everything! I'm even more proud of my roots....Northern Soul is what I am (not in the musical sense) but when you're a heady mix of Scouse Northern Irish and Cumbrian, well it's pretty much a given that you'll have summat to spout about! Debatable whether or not anyone will listen, but you spout on anyway.....Where I come from, people speak their mind and are generally loyal and friendly. They do right by those who do right by them. I look at where I came from (geographically) with fondness, but as my old mucker Rakim says: "It ain't where you're from, it's where you're at."
Britain, for me is tired and old. A bit bewildered and it's had enough. It's got no new ideas and is apathetic...it can't really be bovvered. NZ, however is vibrant, exciting.....like an eager new puppy, it wants to please. It shows off what it's got because it's (so) fresh and (so) clean and energised. There's pride and passion and a work ethic here and people still tend to give a shit. These are all qualities I admire because that's how it ought to be and I have found a place along with my beautiful family, where I can put down strong and sturdy roots.
We took a risk, The Chief and I. We came out here with fire in our bellies and hope in our hearts that this was the right thing to do. We have never looked back and the gamble paid off. I still miss my family and friends back in Britain, but the world is much smaller now in communication terms. I also miss chips wi' vinegar, cold Christmases (hot ones are fab, but will always be a teeny bit wrong) Fanzone on Sky, big supermarkets. I miss the comedy, but there's also something kind of nice about hearing all the madass, crazy stuff that goes on around my family through letters, phonecalls and e-mails. (They should all be writers I reckon) We'd love, love, love to take our Bodlets to Anfield, but one day they might take themselves.
If you're thinking it Blogsters....do it! If you want it...go the fuck on and get it! Opportunities always come knocking (if you're receptive to them) Just now, I'm big time excited about a couple of things that have cropped up for me to try out for in my quest for a sparkly new work-related adventure.
Oooohh, the bag is shaking.....believe......a change is gonna come (Aaaah, beautiful, velvety, fabulous Otis. Top song, but it's not on the Soundtrack)
The Soundtrack comprises of The Don Dobbin...sniff...sob...oh no! Here we go again, lol. To finish, another joint from my fave NZ band Katchafire, which again sums up how I feel about this place.
Go on now Blogdedoodles.....do something fabulous, something shiny and new, challenge yourself or go harder to make what you already do more effective. Reach out to people.....make connections and network......it's not what you know, it's who you know. That's it Funksters...the biggest Bodlet is breathing down my neck because I'm needed for some Cartwheel Observation.......Mwahzicles....
PS: Yes I know I've completely missed Christmas....will correct that oversight tonight. Jingle on until then. xxxxxx

Shake It Like a Polaroid Picture...Whilst Simultaneously Napping (For a Really Long Time) in a Cave of Tranquility x

 
Greetings Blogchums! How are we this fine evening (or day, or night...depending on where you currently reside) Hopefully you are sparkling hard, cos this is how we do in this wee part of the world!
I am currently at a bit of a crossroads (no, no, no Bone, Thugs and Harmony are not there warbling on, neither is that beanie wearing weirdo Benny (target reference for the British audience) It is time my little pumpkins, to "Shake the Bag Up a Bit." I have spoken to you  beautiful people before about how the Sparklydoodles have altered my outlook on life. Amongst other things, I find that although I've always been a 'Plan Ahead' kinda chick and have learned to (kinda) slow down and live in the moment more, I'm finding increasingly that I am lacking in patience, whilst this doesn't spill over into lack of tolerance (yet and hopefully never) I can feel myself developing this sense of "Well, you're either with me on this ride or you're not." I admit that this has always been a character trait of mine, but I don't know....lately I am becoming very protective of my time and really don't want to be wasting it. Slight fucker in the ointment appears to be that age old battle between body and mind. I have so many ideas of where I want to be, things I want to achieve. There are all the points I need to prove (mostly to myself) but then of course, there's 'THE GREAT JENGA TOWER REBUILD AND REFURBISHMENT' which although it is currently ambling along in a kinda ok fashion....it's progressing nowhere near as fecking quickly as this impatient chick pea would like. Cue collective sigh.....but.....wait....no, no, NO!!!! We have to shake this feeling of bog dwelling lethargy and put on our Proactive Pants of Power and Performance because: Nobody is going to get this new job/career/calling of mine that I want really rather badly for me (people just don't roll like that) This frankly bolshy wankbasket of a wibblystiff arsebandit 'condition' that won't leave me alone is taking up far too much of my time and is becoming too loud a voice of interference in my daily Spangle Dangle Dance Party. (When even the immense powers of Lord Stevie of Wonderland cannot overcome it's annoying hum, then we know the fight is back on again. I have been running from Wibblerina (The Bolshy Mare) for ages and reckon I am now a bit puffed out.
So: I'm channelling my inner Sporty Spice and her high kicking, ass whooping, nut cracking ways will soon be mine (although ever the physical fuckwit, I naturally appear more like Po the feckin Panda, haha!) That and a new frock should do it!
Soundtrack: Double whammy for schizoid state of mind. Mumford and Sons The Cave (for my quest for a Nap of Immense Rejuvenation) This crazy ass foot stomping band of 1950's Bin Men were brought to my attention by none other that the seven year old 'Big Bodlet', nice work chick pea! And...as I emerge from the Bat(fink) Cave it will be to the resounding, triumphant sounds of Hey Ya!!! So go on now Shake It, Shake, Shake It, Shake It! xxxx

Just Call Me Eileen...Get It???...I Lean Hahaha!...Lean On Me My Beautiful Dollybirds. xx

Bing! Bong! Hi-de-Hi Blogbods....Wassssuuuuupppppp?!?! Here's hoping this veritable funfest of a post finds y'all in tippety tip top tastic form. As for me (myself and I) it's a veritable smorgasbord of fun stuff and a smattering of shite. Thankfully this is by no means in equal measure, the fun is still outweighing the shite, but I'm a borderline control freak with serious optimist tendencies and this is slightly bothersome. Ah well, will keep on 'Sparkling Hard', because that's how I roll.
There has been a drought in 'Mojoville' for over three weeks now. It is a mixture of things I reckon: still feckin tired, bar of choice is rapidly going down the dumper (wah, wah, waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh) and other stuff meaning that my epic, world renowned, dancerific groovylicious moves that yer man Jagger can only hope to achieve have gone...poof......just like that. :-( Will they return? Why yes of course, and when they do it will be off the feckin chain my friends. When will it return? Hmmm I can't answer...I can't answer that (Bros reference?...anyone?....yeah you remember, I know you do!)
The thing that makes me completely not worry or stress about my current state of Stiffydoodles is that I have and I quote: THE BEST, MOST FANTABULOUS PAIR OF DISCO DANCERIFIC DOLLIES OF EPIC EXCELLENCE MONEY CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO BUY. In Blogville, I like to call them The Princess and The Ballerina. They are simply the kind of friends you want your kids to find. You know, those absolutely stellarific million dollar people who you know have got your back no matter what. The ones you can call at two in the morning to get you out of some shit situation and who you would expect to call you if the role were reversed. We laugh, we cry, we dance, we laugh again. How lucky am I?
So, this Saturday we were at 'The Bar of Choice' and were collectively up for a good old fashioned danceroo. I had been completely pantserific on my last outing with The Princess and needed a right royal pep talk in the car! Even Lord Stevie of Wonderland couldn't get my stiff little arms and legs to move. Bugger! So, with glasses half full, we tried again but again it was a bit on the old piss poor side. Stiffywoo and the Neon Sign of Impairment were kicking my ass. My Dollies of Deliciousness never ever wavered in their encouragement and despite the (feckless and charisma free) band playing in a fully bleurgh capacity and, get this.....they bastardised Blister in the Sun!!!! Ballerina-chops almost popped her collar! But, Hello Mary?!? What's this then?....an epiphany.....a moment.....a snippet of time where you just exist and relish what is occurring. Cue the Soundtrack.....Lean on Me (Club Nouveau version) Listen to the lyrics y'all, they represent what friendship is all about. Thanks for being my friend you guys and with glassy eyes and sniffs aplenty...just know that we now have a 'Soundtrack' of our own and I will always be a fully paid up member of 'Club Eileen' xxxxxxxxxxx

Life is a Rollercoaster Ronan, but it is Also a Highway. Either Way I'm Riding Baby. Toot! Toot! x

Hello Blogerooneys one and all......I'm still here! Have you missed me? I have been thinking about posting for some time but have either (a) not had much of any merit to share, (b) been too busy that by the time I get round to thoughts of blogging, they rapidly turn into thoughts of procrastination (an evil curse) which inevitably then leads me on to (c) "Ahh, feck it...we'll go on to bed will we?"
Here are some conclusions I have come to during my absence:
I Need a Change of Direction. My current career path is no longer 'lifting my skirts' and motions are being gone through, even though there are colleagues of spectacular funkdom who make it a bit more fun. Onwards to new and exciting frolicks of epic fabulocity it is then (and hefty wage packets, hahaha!) Watch this space Funkeroos....plotting, scheming, planning, it's all kicking off!
I Am Feckin Tired Out. Yes, I know..I know...the power of ten tigers and all that but sadly Blogbods my Batfink/She-Ra/PPness has upped and buggered off. I am before you now in possession of a tank with a piss poor puddle of mojo. This my friends, is not good. Not good in the slightest and I'm not chuffed. Turns out (as pointed out by the beautiful, wise and wonderful Lady Miss P of the Palace) I have been doing shitloads and travelling at mentalhead, breakneck speed. Buying houses (well, one) working hard (this has got to be said in a Scouse accent...) the epic 'Wander Round the Mountain', thinking that sleep is for the weak, and generally I guess not treating my body like a temple................sigh.......So, it's early(ish) nights and laying off the fast forward button and living life like my ass is on fire....'cos it's not!
Imma Gonna Make Like Arnie (In an "I'll Be Back" Kinda Way)  Yeeeaahhh Boiiiiii! Gotta regroup peeps, there's stuff to be doing and fun to be had. Is that the Jenga Bus? Pull over baby, I'm on this ride!
The Chief is Fabness on a Spangledangle Stick and I Love Him Completely! This is not a new conclusion, but thought I'd add it just because, quite frankly, I'd be right royally fecked without him.
My life as it is now, will be full of ups and downs...that's that. But I'll be celebrating the highs with streamers of perkyliciousness and pissing on the parade of the miserable bastards of Lowtown. Thank God I've got my Crack Team of Funksters along for the ride.
Soundtrack: Ronan and some randoms...Enjoy! x

Three Little Birds...And An Extra Pink Pill...x

Whoop-de-ding-dang-doo Mother Funksters! Mama Sparklepops is fully in her 'Happy Place' and my Bubble of Fabulocity is well and truly rising up (in an Eye of the Tiger kinda way) and I am lovin' it!
Yesterday I went to see Neuroboy for a touching base kinda deal. I hadn't seen him in over a year and, although I know I've been doing well, but it's always useful to have the resident expert smiling from ear to ear about the progress I'm making. Everyone wants to know that 'Everything's Gonna Be Alright.' Sure it's going to get rocky on my journey from time to time, but me and my Kick Ass Support Crew are totally up for the job...we've got it in the bag. For now the extra little pink pill he's prescribed is hopefully, all I'm going to need to keep on keepin' on in the way that I want. Blogbods, that Jenga Tower of mine is getting bigger and taller every day and the foundations on which it's built are stronger than they were before. The cherry on the top of my chatteroo with Neuroboy was the fact that he said "You can hardly tell." Holy Moley Blogsters...those were golden words to me! See? When you 'Fake It to Make It', you believe what you're telling yourself and confidence in yourself grows and grows.
So: it's Batfink/She-Ra/Penelope Pitstop all the feckin' way my friends.....my inner kid is going to have more fun than ever before. I will continue to live and love as hard and passionately as ever before so: 'C'mon you Sparkly Auld Bugger....back in yer box cos I'm gonna bust yo ass if you come round here again!"
Bob is going to tell it and it's sooooo sweet listening to this song when the shit has hit your fan, but your fan has survived. All Hail the Mighty Fan, and All Hail the Mighty Bob of Marleyville. Soundtrack: Three Little Birds. Hope they come and visit you sometime. xxxxxx

Back in the Day...We Had Fun in a Bun, Let's Have It Eh? x

Hey Blogeroos, Here I Am...Signed, Sealed, Delivered....I'm Yours! Hurrah! Now how are you all? Tippety-Tip-Top-Toptastically-Terrific, is what I'm hoping you'll say.......me too!
I have been out at the coalface today (for when I am not being Batfink/She-Ra/Penelope Pitstop) I am to be found hanging not with Mr Cooper (target audience TV reference) but with some of the most randomly eclectic, funny and quite frankly amazing kids ever in my WonderWoman-like alter ego of 'Teacher of Small People.'
I know I have made mention of this before so sorry for repetition, but whilst hanging with these funkiest of monkeys, it dawned on me: "When exactly do we grow up?" I don't mean the whole marriage, children, responsibility, job, mortgage, parents getting older etc etc. I mean like when do we lose the thrill of challenging ourselves, why don't we do stuff 'just cos it's fun' anymore?
Today I bore witness to the following gems that really made me think: A child finding a worm, and seriously acting like she'd found a feckin big as nugget of gold, another kid risking life and limb on top of high monkey bars trying to touch the clouds, two kids in high heels (one running, v competently I might add...much respect) dressed up to the nines because they were off to a wedding and, of course investigating the countless ways in which a big, fat cardboard box can be fun.
I was really grateful for today, because my enthusiasm for working in education has been waning. I seem to be around the small people all the time and too much of the same thing begins to lose it's sparkle after a while (and that would never do, would it?) Whilst the quest is still firmly on for a new gig of 'skirt lifting proportions', I do think today has made me reflect on the opportunities I afford my own Bodlets and how I am going to work harder to reconnect with my inner kid more. Why worry and overcomplicate life? I know there's always responsibility and duty, but feck it, can we not have a laugh whilst we're at it and sprinkle a bit of challenge and wonderment too?
So, I'm going to ask you to channel your inner five year old and share some ideas of how to have a kid experience......I'm thinking of nicking the Bodlet's scooter and ripping off down the street emitting a rip roaring, resounding 'WOOHOOOOOOOOO Mother Fuckers!' whilst wearing a cape and tiara. Oooh, and I could also locate a massive hill to roll down. What are you going to do?....
Soundtrack: A cracker from (strangely enough...back in the day) It's the Lesser Spotted Ahmad. Not often seen or heard of, but still a treat! xx

Let's Go Round Again.....In a Remix Stylee....With a U-Turn! x

So Blogbods.....it's been a while since I last posted. What have you megatastic boys and girls been up to? I fully hope that you have all been spreading the Sparkles with reckless and joyful abandon! Hahaha...well, as long as it's on your 'to-do list!'
Right then, what's been going on? Tonnes of stuff......crazy ass shit that I'm sure you've come to expect if this cyber litter finds it's way into your day on a semi-regular basis. Ha, well there have been a few questions to ponder, such as: "How can I get this, frankly 'totally bangin beyond belief' new dress that I bought online to look right, what with it's awkward waisty bit and funny belt?"  "Why am I so completely 'special' when it comes to reversing down my new driveway?" and "Shorts or jeans?.....shorts or jeans?" (Shorts inevitably won and were surprisingly comfortable to dance in, which is nice)
The Big Question though, has been this one: "Is It Ever a Good Thing to Return to a Situation You Have Left?" I am actually pondering this pearler after the event to be honest. Returning is a done deal...it's happening because it has to. $$$$$$$ "Kerching" and $$$$$$ is the order of the day. In a head/heart scenario I am almost always a follow my heart kinda chick. I trust my intuition about people and situations and rarely am I wrong. Often, I can't put my finger on what's good or bad, I just get a feeling. Not in a witchypoo/gin addled dodgy auld gyppo way, just a notion that pops into my consciousness that I have come to trust and believe in and there we have it. I'm returning to a situation where my initial unravelling began. A place which I associate with pressure and stress, somewhere that's not 'sparkly shiny'.....and where my stiffness and shakeydoodles try their hardest to come out to play. I have always been a 'Push On' person never looking backwards only ever forwards onto the next thing, but now it's all about the U Turn (ooooh...love that song.....and vid...and dance moves) To quote a friend of mine I'm gonna have to 'Suck it up Princess' and hey, if it doesn't kill me it'll make me stronger, right? The prospect of going there again rendered me officially freaked out earlier this week and I ended up having a teeny weeny tiny meltdown....sigh....All Hail my Regal Princess of The Palace, who came to the Towers at the speed of light and picked me up so I could regain my 'Powers of Immense Sparkledom'. I love you for everything, you are a stellar chick!
I reckon I'm going to have to make like my old friend Batfink. My bubble will not be burst! "Their bullets cannot harm me, my wings are like a shield of steel!" or in other words: Sparkle! Sparkle! Sparkle! Fashion and Bling are going to be my weapons of choice. I'll keep you posted....
In Other News: Made a new friend...someone who's travelled some of the same paths as me. She will offer a different perspective and hopefully together we can lighten her load. Those shoulders have held too much, too long! Had a complete and utter 'feck-a-ding-dang-doo-tastic' danceroo where it was well and truly taken to the street! Was made (not entirely against my will) to dance in front of Bodlet 1's entire Drama Class, and have just been keepin' on keepin' on. What else is there?
Off to see Neuroboy towards the end of this month. Will lay all cards on the table...(even the ones I don't really want to share cos they might mean icky news) but rest assured Blogsters I will be slammin' it whatever the outcome. Thanks for checking in.......love, love, love that you do! Am v intrigued in interest from the Ukraine by the way....don't know much about your country. Maybe you might like to tell me what's good in your Ukraine hood!!!! Latvia has joined the party too..."Look at this will ye Mary...it's like the feckin Eurovision Song Contest here in Blogville...Woohoo! All Aboard! The more the merrier, come one, come all!
Soundtrack?....Average White Band on yo asses, but...check out the stellar dancerific remix y'all Aah, go on now....Let's Go Round Again (sure it'll pay the mortgage, lol) Also, my main man Usher U-Turning for all he's worth! Ciao Blogsters....we out! x

Oi Blogsters!....A Little More Conversation a Little Less Action...You Feel Me? x

OMG Blogbods! By the time you read this, 76 Sparkles will have smashed through 2,000 views! That, quite simply put, is completely awesometastic! We've only been at this glitterific Blog Party (oooh sounds like Bloc Party...used to quite like them!) since May and, whilst I love my cute little ole Blogdedoodle with a feverish passion and believe in it immensely, it never fails to surprise me that people actually go out of their way to read it.
It began as (and continues to be) a form of cathartic therapy for me. I was concerned that I was in a kind of denial over my Sparkly situation and figured that if I 'came out' in a spangle-dangle neontastic Miss Ross kinda way, well that'd be it wouldn't it? Everyone would know about something I'd been trying really hard to hide. My feeling was, being open about my situation might (a) help me deal with it, (b) stop me feeling like a big flashing sign informing the world of my touch of the Stiffler's Mom was ever present and (c) it might just help someone else travelling up Sparkly Creek without the aid of anything remotely paddle-like.
I write 'so I can get it all out, what's in my head' (4 Non-Blondes ref for ya!) but it freakin' rocks to the max that there are megabods like yourself that are along for the ride. We got 'em from Brasil to Japan via Ukraine and Canada....we've got the Yemen!.....we've got China!.....we are going hard and spreading the Sparkles in a globaltastic way and I'm completely and utterly thankful to all of you for checking in.....
Just one thing....I know you "Stellar Fellas" are out there...but you guys are so quiet!!!!!!!
Talk to me Blog-a-log-a-ding-dongs!!! I am loving the fact that you check in from far and wide, but please don't sneak a read then skip off, unless I'm some kind of guilty pleasure..and hey, I'm down with that ;-) I'd fully love to hear what you think about this Blog of mine. So, be brave my lovely Lords and Ladies of Sparkledom...c'mon now...holla. What's good, what's not? Any topics you want to talk about. We could create a full on forum Blogeroos. Talk to me....you know you want to.....
Soundtrack: Elvis the Pelvis! x

Count On Me....There's a Lollipop I Love With All My Heart! x

For My Most Awesome, Amazing, Beloved Chief of Fabulocity and My Wickedly Wonderful, Wonderous Wonder Woman (with the best boots EVER!!!)

You two are Boombastic and I love ya.......more than you'll ever really know. For different reasons you build me up and keep me on it. I say a teeny tiny thank you for you every single day. xxxx

'Stiffy' Rears Up It's Sparkly Head....Aaaaah Feck Off Will Ya? Don't You Know I'm She-Ra and Batfink?! x

Wah...wah...waaaaaaaaaaaahhh. Mama said there'd be days like this...turns out she didn't, but Good Old Therapy Knickers sure as shit was onto it. "Co-operate with the inevitable" or, in old money "Cross that bridge when you come to it." Yeah well the bridge is looming like a big foetid brick wanker with a manky auld troll sat in it's own piss and dribble fumbling around underneath. It's on Beautiful Blogwins...here's The Test, The Big One, The Big Bad Daddy AKA: Wtf? Where Did All the Sparkles Go?
What do you do when the drugs don't work any more? My 'Fake It to Make It' mantra has had a kick in the knackers and has gone off in a bit of a huff. Seriously need to get her ass back onto the task at hand, there's things that need doing and quite frankly, I haven't got time for Ms Sparklies wibbly bullshit. Well, I say the drugs don't work, I am merely guessing.....I am currently grappling with the Mind Over Matter thing in a big, big way. Here's the deal:
Since my 'Epic Wander Around the Mountain', I have found that the wheels have been coming off slowly but surely and despite my efforts to the contrary, the physical symptoms of the Wobblywaddles have been creeping back in, resulting in a quick trip to Mini Meltdown City Centre and a 111 call to my Support Crew Extraordinaire. To anyone reading this, whether you enjoy perfect health or otherwise, please love, love, love the fabulous funketeers you have in your life, and more importantly, tell them...every day because it never wears thin. My Funkylicious Band of Epic Greatness have got my back and I know I'll get where I need to be with them in my corner. A bacon sarnie...some cake...bright red  twinkly sparkles that are turning up all over the house and two of the most amazing people I've ever come across were all that was needed to get this kid to have a word with herself and get right back on the Sparkle Train....destination: Kick Ass Groovetown (twinned with Positivityville)
Having invested so heavily in an outlook and coping mechanism that I have grown to believe in wholeheartedly, and with such a vehement passion that I feel able to put it out there in the public arena, it was seriously difficult to see it crumbling around me and knowing that there's really nothing for it but to start all over again, building the tower from the ground up. I'm fighting a battle that ultimately I cannot ever fully defeat, my Sparklies will always be there, but I at least have a choice with regards to how I allow it to impact my life. Aaahh, you know me Blogbods....this Disco Dolly has much to do and will not ever never be down for long. The minging, pantsorific days spent in Shit Street are essential though, they are absolutely imperitive, because without them the Glitterifically Twinkletastic days wouldn't be so epically sunny-bunny-wonderful.
Soundtrack: Living Colour.....Crank it up Blogsters and go hug someone fabulous and thank them for being in your life. xxxx

Ultra Fab...Ultra Feckin Awesome Place...Ultra Music x

I know Blogsters...wtf? Twice in a row?.....she's on fire! I just had to share how completely amazing it is that I live where I live with so much natural beauty, genuine love, friendship and aroha from so many people, both close to me and random strangers.
So today, I had some time to kill and I thought: "Feck it I'm off to the lake." This goes back to my previous ramblings about how the best moments seem to be the spontaneous ones. The ones where you just get up off your arse and go do something, instead of thinking about it. I think we are almost genetically programmed at conception to be watchers or grabbers. My theory is that you've got your 'Watchers' who would love to do something 'exciting or different' but really can't be arsed when it comes to the crunch. These folks then branch out into two sub species, being those who applaud the drive and motivation of others but don't put it into action themselves (The Bollockless Back Patters) and those who wish they had these qualities and so deride the get up and go of others (The Merchants of Bleurgh) The 'Grabbers' on the other hand, can't wait to seize upon a new opportunity grab it firmly by the bollocks and go hard (unintentional sexual reference there...what would Freud say?..not much he's dead eh!) You're either in it to participate or you might as well feck off and that's that!
Coming to NZ has so completely got to be one of the very best things I have ever done. Soon, another piece of the puzzle will be put into gear and then this chick will be all good. So, that's why today the ironing lost and the lake won and I took twenty fabulous minutes to wiggle my toes in the water and couldn't take the massive bastard smile off my face. It's so good to be a 'Grabber'!
Soundtrack: Katchafire...can't believe it's taken this long for these boys to feature, but I love 'em and this song made my smile that little bit wider...enjoy my beautiful Blogwins! xx

Jump On It!.....Where We Laugh Until Our Faces Hurt! x

Ahhh, there you are my little Blogeroo...so nice to have you along for the ride once more!
Saddle up y'all, because yet again, it has been a week comprising mainly of what can only really be described as 'crazy ass shit'. Just how I like it!
Well, first off, it's a great big fat gypsy "feck the feck off will ye?!?!" to the virus from hell that refuses to go away and has left me with the most annoying tickly cough ever in the whole wide world...Amen. I am beyond over it and want it to go. Now, if you could arrange for that to happen in the very very very near future, ooohhh what a happy little Perkydoodle I would be.
Despite all that, this week, I have been mostly ferrying infants here, there and everywhere...cue music: "Lady cab driver, roll up your window fast (doo doo doo doo doo)" It's a bit of Prince fo yo asses. You should go take a listen :-) Anyway, back on track....Friday was quite the important day because: we did boring mortgage-type banking form filling stuff for the new and improved Towers. However the chick dealing with us was cute and funny and gossipy....and made us so fecking late that the rest of the day was spent racing around like Usain Bolt smacked off his tits on a heady mixture of speed and Raspberry Miranda! I'd promised to help Miss Lollipop (Bodlet 1) paint her T-Shirt for her school production and so raced like the proverbial Bat out of Hell to school where herself (AKA The Last Turkey in the Shop) was waiting patiently and we got it done in fabulous style. Meanwhile...on the other side of town, The Chief had hastily chopped up a carrot, bagged it and lobbed it squarely at Bodlet 2 by way of a snack for Kindy and sent the young fella on his way. Is it dawning on you yet Blogbod?...can you see where this is going?....re-e-wind (when the crowd says Bo Selecta) Bodlet 1 = school, Bodlet 2 = Kindy, The Chief and I = not at work.....Holy Mary, could this mean?.....no....could it possibly be true?....YES, YES, YES! The Chief and I bagged some time together sans enfants in the daylight hours. Well, let's not get our knickers in too much of a twist peeps, because we had to go to another school function for Bod 1 and therefore had a window of opportunity of roughly an hour. How did we spend it?.....well Afternoon Delight did cross our minds, but quite frankly it's not the time of day you do it as long as you're doing it eh? ;-) So we went to our fave rave eating emporium and proper scoffed!
We also had....'The Chat'...the one that went a bit like this:
Chief: "So, we'll be making an appointment pretty soon then?"
Moi: "What for?"
Chief: "You know, Dr Wright" (neurodude)
Moi: "Why's that then?"
Chief: "You know why.....cos you're meds aren't working too grand anymore."
Moi: (aaaahhh feck, he's onto it) Right so.....". When did you notice?
Chief: "I've known for a bit, thought it was to do with your crazy mountain wander, working heaps, buying a house, not really doing the sleep thing too well and stuff. Think we should go see him though to see what he reckons."
Moi: " Aaah, feck. You're right, guilty as charged Your Honour."
You can't fool the ones who love you for very long, eh?" Arse, looks like we're off to Medsville again for a wee bit of tweaking. However, I maintain that so much of all this buggery bollocks is completely mired in how you are mentally and what with all the plates I'm spinning right now, it's no wonder my Jenga Tower of Sparkly Banishment has got it's wobble on really.
I'll tell you what though Blogsters, it's completely not bothering my Disco Dancing D Floor Diva Destroyer in Da house status, no not one bit! My girls and I rocked it out in fine style to our new fave band of immense fabulocity.
I know I've said it so many times, but these awesome, strong, feisty, beautiful, humble, loving, dancetastic girls of utter gorgeousness and marvellocity are so beyond vital, I can't possibly imagine my life without them. I literally bounce like a puppy dog wearing Slinky shoes on a trampoline when I've been out (thank God The Chief understands and supports!) The Jenga Tower is back on the rise Funksters.......watch me soar!
Soundtrack: Sugarhill Gang Apache (Jump On It) as an extra treat, it's the Fresh Prince clip cos that's gonna be me and my Groovemamajama next time we're out! Till next time Tonto...Jump On It! Laterz Homies xx

It's a Beautiful Day.....Don't Let it Get Away

Well Blogbods, what a crackin weekend was had by all here at Towers Inc. It was, in fact so fab that it even seemed to last heaps longer than it should have done...you know those days that come along every now and again that are magical because they seem to let you extract every single minute and turn it into a moment that completely pops and sparkles with smiley happy deliciousness.
Today I kinda want to talk about the way we fail to make these 'Sparkle Days' (for that is officially the new name for them) important and, although we appreciate them and acknowledge them to a certain degree when they come around, they remain a 'now and again' occurrence, a 'flash in the pan', an anomaly. That got me to thinking: "How can we make it a habit to stop for a minute (baby I'm so glad you're mine....Whoop, There It Is! That's a song lyric coming atcha right there...you know by now there's ALWAYS a song lyric!) and, you know 'smell the roses'. Aha, that old cliche, but it really is true Blogeroos.....how do we turn those WOW WOW WOW days/moments into less of a random act of fabulocity and more a case of "Hell yeah baby, this kinda funky shit happens to me all the time..."
The song lyric is from a seriously guilty pleasure (you'll find it at the end of the post) I apologise here and now for it is right royally dripping with cheese, but for some reason, I have always loved the lyrics and you should give it an open minded listen. I feel it rings true both for my relationship with The Chief, but also for the two Bodleteers.
Life can be shit for lots of people in more ways that one can possibly imagine. We might be too fat, too poor, someone has been mean to us, we're trapped and going nowhere, that dress you really wanted has gone and feckin sold out, you are undervalued at work, you struggle to make social connections and are lonely, you're angry at life, you want what you can't have and so it goes on......yep it can be a big, heavy bag of dog wank we have to carry around with us, but someone will always try and piss on your parade....the trick I've learned is the only let the good stuff in. Surround yourself with positive people and make a point of channelling your inner Judy of Garlandsville (ahh yes...a pill popping maniac and a bit of a gin hound to boot she may well have been, but she was the original trailblazer for the old: "Fake it to Make it" mantra I hold so dear)
Some of the best days I've had in my life have been planned: My wedding day, the births of both my Bodlets (induced both times in case you were wondering...) arrival in Godzone to live forever and ever, etc etc. But, I think some other seriously memorable ones that have brought me amazing satisfaction and pleasure and fun in abundance have been the randoms. The spontaneous, off the cuff, "What'll we do today Mary?" kind of days where the magic just happens. We had so many days like these when the Dapper Don Disco Daddy and his Teenage Kickstart were over (mainly because when I'm around him, his "I'm so laid back I'm feckin horizontal" vibe rubs off on me and I slow down the pace of life a bit (My hamster on it's wheel is more than a little bit glad of that!) but the thing is, those are the days we still reminisce about. So, whatever's going on in your life, good, bad or indifferent...stop for a minute and remember those roses. Enjoy 'em now because soon they'll be gone and you'll have missed them. I try so hard to do this with my Bodlets and it's so hard to remember because life gets in the way, but I'm determined! Live in the now Blogbods...it's a Beautiful Day...so crack on eh?
Soundtrack: U2 love it and it reminds me of watching the footy at a normal time of day :-)
Guilty Pleasure track: Amy Grant (I know!!!...cue incredulous look...) and for the hat trick, you lucky buggers...Judy Garland sing it, baby! Now we out......xxxxx

Let's Get Retarded......With a Side Order of Conga Line. Crackin'! x

Hello? (Blogbods)......is it me you're looking for? (Lovely, big chinned Lionel.....underrated funkmeister in my opinion)
So, an update in Health News: The big red cross indicating a house of the poorly sick and unclean has now been removed from the front door at Morris Towers. The oldest Bodlet is on the mend, hurrah! The youngest Bodlet has weathered the storm and just has a sore throat. Annoyingly The Chief has so far remained unscathed. As for me...... I am and I quote: "not so much husky maiden exactly, more thick green ming-riddled, dingy cave dwelling gravel scoffer." Sore, sore, sore...and, did I say I was sore? Still, enough of all that my little Funk Bunnies, as sooner or later I will be firing on all cylinders once again, you know it!
I believe that the only answer to feeling bleurgh is a big, fat, massive, enormous...yes, you guessed it......danceroo! Dancing, and amazing music is, as you know my best defence, and attack for that matter, against the evil Sparklies as well as the general poorlydoolies. Oh how we rocked it the other night. Crackin band, fabulous company, more laughs than I've had in ages ("I'm her carer and she's on stronger medication tonight, eh Ballerina?) and a two woman conga line. Fun times never have to be expensive or complicated, I find that the very best ones are always the most spontaneous.
I am so very lucky to have some of the funniest, most outrageously crazy arsed, 'head the ball' funny bunnies in my life. How could I ever head off down to Dumpsville when these awesome heroes and heroines of hilarity keep me laughing and smiling. An amazingly funny guy called Stephen K Amos said in a comedy show once: "Always find the funnies." It's sound advice Blogbods....there's nowt you can't laugh at. So go on laugh...make sure you have a feckin good roar of a belly laugh at something today.....it's good for the soul! (Almost as much as dancing!)
Soundtrack time...... Black Eyed Peas first and foremost because of the massive laugh that bordered on self wetting that we had dancing to this song...my beautiful friend you are a legend and I will always be smiley, happy with you in my world! Just for good measure, and because it went down a treat I also give you La Estefan and the Conga. Guilty pleasure.....yes Madam it most certainly is! Go on now Mary....Come on, shake your body baby, do the conga. I know you can't control yourself any longer! xx

When the Going Gets Tough....the Tough Go Dancing....Oh Yes, They Do Indeed! x

Yo, Hey Check This Out! (ahh, yes...a little taste of the old BVSMP for your delectation Blogbods.....Target Audience?......Better not be Funksters, or you've got homework to do!
Sad times are afoot, my Merry Band of Awesomeness...for I am officially Poorlydoodlepoodletastic. Sniff...cough.....poorly...sigh.....Those generous (to a fecking fault!) Bodlets of mine have finally gone and passed on 'The Virus of Doom and Foetid MingMong' to me their beloved Mother who, quite frankly hasn't got time for all this illness malarkey. Sigh....
Is it me?...or are children getting more vacant and stupid and useless? Sorry, sorry and thrice sorry beautiful Sparkle, but have got to mention the outrageous display of fecklessness, fuckwitticism and general Blankety Blank nature of a wide section of this wonderful nation's future adult citizens...and I wasn't even in the 'country' where they shit under the trees! I am laughing now, for we are currently two glasses of wine down and my lovely chumster Queen Fairy Sparkles purchased me a very fine gin to make it better.....and it did! So I spent the day thinking: "Is this it? Am I a shit teacher now?" "Am I hearing myself speaking clear English...but is it actually coming out to these deadheads as some unfamiliar foreign tongue?" "WTF??????!!!!!! I don't wanna do this anymore!"
Got home, reflected, took on board all that Sparklydoodle had to say, had a bit of a think, considered the fact that a person I admire enormously, who has more teaching talent in her high heeled stomperific kinky boots than I could ever hope to have at my disposal (even if I channelled my inner Turbo B off of Snap, and Lord knows he had The Power) and is passionate in the extreme about raising the bar of achievement for these kids finds herself somewhat diminished in the Shimmyspangledangle department says it all. Modern kids (apart from my own, and any other nice ones I've come across) are nothing short of gormless. There I said it. I said it. I said it cos I can!
Can someone now please give me a skirt lifting, fun in a bun, satisfaction sho' 'nuff guaranteed joberoo of magical stupendousness...that pays well, isn't overly taxing in the old stress department, is socially beneficial and allows me to swan about with my bangin tunes on in the car making people's day become just a little bit brighter?!?! Sooner, rather than later...thanks that'd be awesome.
Until my ship rolls in.....I'll 'Suck it up Princess' and when the going gets tough...the tough will say to themselves: "Kerching!" and vow to try a little bit harder and not let my heart take up residence on my sleeve so much. Thanks Dapper Don...the emotional basket case side of me is all down to the Scouse genetics thank you ta very much like laaa!
I truly believe in life you should never go backwards, only forwards to uncharted territory. However, going back I am...let's see how we go eh? Must make note to self regarding practising what I preach...will get onto that little nugget ASAP. Thanks for supporting me and my mad world, me love you long time.
Soundtrack: Already said it, When the Going Gets Tough by Billy Ocean (Colour Scene) Enjoy!!!!!!! xxxxx

Paparazzi NZ Style......AKA: The Day Miss Katy Got Papped (Kinda...Not Really) x

Greetings Blogdedoodles...and how the Holy Hell are youse all? Fine and indeed dandy is the hope.
So, things are fun in a bun in my world, which is nice. Sadly, my two absolutely adorable and deliciously megarific Bodlets of Awesomeness are poorly sick in the extreme. This is sad, sad, sad. They have got some hideous, miserable viral bleurghfest going on and they both have no energy and look to all intents and purposes like they've been walloped by a pan (which I can assure you, they haven't!) Still, you can't let a bit of infant sickypoorlies stand in the way of the fact that it snowed where I live for the first time in about oh....17 years!!!!!!!
Onwards to some snow then and we pull up, get out of the car and who do we meet?................only a feckin reporter from the local rag! Honestly, you couldn't make it up could you? So, the oldest Bod (Drama Queen, camera lover and shameless poser who, at this point, is the more poorly of the two) packs a major sad because (a) the youngest Bod has completely tanned her arse with a handful of snow and (b) her gloves don't fit. The smallest Bod then goes on to enter into full on 'not lovin' this anymore' and begins to complain about being cold. So, seeing that yer man from the rag is a bit stuck as passers by are more than a little bit thin on the ground, I feel that, quite frankly it's my duty to frolick like a woman posessed. He needs a pic and a sound byte and who better than some enthusiastic random like myself to step in?!?  I was ridiculously excited to discover that yours truly and the youngest Bodleteer had not only made it into the rag, but the pic of us working our snow angel magic was only on the front page baby!!! Sure, if you've got it...they'll find you, hahahahaha. I astound myself sometimes with my shameless quest for fun and glory!
Alas, the snow melted rather quickly and so that'll be it for a while. At least I can say that I came....I saw....I got Papped. Aaah yes, it's not all about you Lady Gaga...but you'll definitely ding-dang-doo for the old Soundtrack. Oh and a bit of an old skool treat: Snow's Informer...just cos it's funny and no-one knows the lyrics without Googling it cos it's mad (but just to show my love for y'all and so as to not leave my darling Blogsters frustrated, I have posted this auditory pleasurefest WITH LYRICS!!!) and also cos yer man's called Snow and that's what this Post has been about....xxxxx

Fancy a Bit of the Good Life?....It's Free...Baby...x

Woohoo Blogbods! Here I am typing my random thoughts not at the crack of feckin dawn for once! It is just a quick one, I have a mini mo to share. Today, I have had one delicious Bodlet who is poorly sick and languishing in Nodsville (currently situated in parental bed of sizeable proportions, especially when you are a small person surrounded by a vital support network of various furry creatures and pillowy things) and one other delicious Bodlet busying themselves with Lego. I look at these infants, so very different from each other, yet so absolutely fabulously amazing and I think: Wow how lucky I am to be part of their lives. I see The Chief come home for lunch and smile as he tells me of all the crazy nonsense people he encounters and the mentalhead things that occur in his day. I talk to the Dapper Don Disco Daddy and feel the love across the miles. I talk shit to my friends both here and in different countries and find it so very cool that these Sparklebods are in my world.
My life is pretty cool actually, I live in the most acetastic place, firm, strong roots are on their way, I can sing, dance and be merry and what do you know?......the sun is here too! Happy Days my friends. So yes, I'm a Jelly Bus Rider, yes I'm a Stiffler's Mom and I'm currently rockin the left leg drag manoeuvre like a professional, I guess that's just how I'm rollin lately. Doom and gloom? Jog on Mother Hubbard! Life doesn't wait for an invitation to get up off it's ass and get busy.
So...Drum roll please............Soundtrack Time: I give you Janet and Luther, they're onto it Blogbods. The BEST Things in Life Are (Indeed) Free. They are magical and wonderful and soothe the soul, making you happy to the tippy top of your head, they are never ever material and thrive on the energy and love you give them. Well, go on then...since it's becoming a bit of a habit to provide more than one acetastic track for your auditory pleasure state, I will also give you Inner City. Aaaahhhh...takes me back Blogeroos. It's a feckin Good Life so enjoy, it's awesome what you've got so stop reading this and go tell someone and, don't forget y'all come back now y'hear? xx

YNWA x

Alright Blogsters? Here we go again......phew, the last one was a bit of a mind fuck wasn't it? Even I was slightly bewildered by what tumbled out of me, but better out than in as they say and guess what?.....I slept quite well after having channelled my inner Grimm brother. So.....
I am a happy and excited little Sparkle Mama today because....it is footy season again! Aaah yes my little Punky Brewsters despite dwelling amongst the egg chasers.....it is the beautiful game I love the best.
Now, if you're British, you'll know this already so you should probably just go make yourself a cup of tea or something, but for those who are not familiar, you do not ever, never (unless you're a useless, feckless, blatant knuckledragging glory following Manc) choose your team. Second and third teams, yes that's allowed (for me it's Barcelona) It is achieved by birthright, no choice. Me? I'm a Red, a Kopite. Anfield is my spiritual home....Liverpool L4. I am Christ alone knows how many generations Scouse and the Bodlets are obviously going to continue that tradition because that's part of who they are and where they come from.
As you probably guessed from the trainer buying debacle prior to my triumphant wander round the mountain in aid of Sparklydoodles, I am neither sporty, athletic or even remotely interested in participating in sporty/gamey shenanigans, never have been to be honest. I am however, completely ace in the place in the motivational, supportive "Go on my son"/"Get innnnnnnnnn!" big up your team kinda way.
I love my team because they are the best in the world, bar none. They have an immense history, undeniable success, integrity, humility, passion and pride. To be a Red is to belong to a community, a family, common ground, a link, a thread. There have been glorious highs (Istanbul for starters) and terrible, tragic lows (Hillsborough (JFT96) and Heysel) but there is one thing for sure, come what may you always believe in your team and never waver. It all sounds a tad religious, and to some folks (the lucky buggers who get to attend matches on a regular basis) I guess it kind of is. Stick your shabby arsed Theatre of Wet Dreams, Fortress Anfield is the Cathedral of Cool.
Human nature primes us to seek out like minded people, kindred spirits, folks who are on the same page. We have an inherent need to belong to something/someone. Football, like music, clothing labels and so on marks us out as either belonging to or not being part of specific sectors of society. This process occurs right from the first day of school when all you want to do is find someone you can belong to/fit with.
Liverpool Football Club is something I am quietly passionate about. I'm not a 'statnerd', I don't profess to have encyclopaedic knowledge of past teams, matches, score sheets, players, managers, positions, transfers and so on and so on. However, The Chief (God love him a fellow Red......it was definitely a tick in the right box, hahaha!) has an almost spectrum dwelling breadth of knowledge and footy trivia at his fingertips (another reason why I love him completely. :-) This Season just feels right. I don't know why...it just does. Maybe it's the Kenny factor, maybe it's the squad, maybe it's just that the time is now. But, much like with my Sparklyfandangos...you've just got to trust and believe.......YNWA JFT96
Onto the Soundtrack well naturally, it had to be the Liverpool Anthem. Listen to (and, because I'm so good to y'all) and read the lyrics. They are stirring and I can't listen to this song without the hairs on the back of my neck pricking up and my chest puffing out with pride. My team, my heritage. The second little nugget of aural stimulation is a very guilty pleasure I Bring you The Anfield Rap (Alright Aldo, sound as a pound) Thirdly....what a treat: our second song: The Fields of Anfield Road. No one else can sing like they can in The Kop, home or away. C'mon you Mighty Redmen! Tear it up......x

Eye Know .....Let's Party All Night...With a Fairytale Bedtime Story Twist....x

Greetings Blogheads and welcome to my world of phrase, I'm right up to bat. It's a Sparkly Age and you're about to walk top stage so wipe your Lotto's on the mat...........
Aaaahhh, a little bit of the old De La Soul for youse at almost 2 in the am. Feck...I thought this Jelly Bus ride was meant to tire me out! No such luck.....my poor addled brain can't switch off and I fear that I might be becoming borderline nocturnal! Seriously Chumsters...if I thought I could get away with it (and more to the point, if there was anywhere to go) it'd be on with the heels and onwards to a funky d floor, or just driving in my car, or just doing something.....anything but wrestling with not being able to sleep.
Once upon a time......in a land far, far away there was a buxom, raven haired maiden who skipped through life (although she always had a Masterplan) and was revered by all who knew her as being able to sleep at the drop of a hat on nowt more than a washing line. It used to right royally piss The Chief off no end that she could gather the sleep fairies around her on planes, in airports, on ferries....frankly anywhere involving modes of transport it would seem. Anyway, the buxom maiden lost her magnificent fun bags thanks to The Bodlets and the miraculous downsizing of the Maiden's overall body mass. Sigh.....bangin' baps Vs size 8 clobber and the banishment of the evil muffin top to the spooky forest where the bears live. Thank God the Elves and the Shoemaker diversified into lingerie eh? As well as this, unbeknown to the Maiden an unfortunate spell had been cast that made her wibbly and stiff, slightly bewildered (nothing overly surprising there as raven haired maiden really ought to have been made blonde...it would've saved so much time...) and self conscious. So she decided to visit a grand wizard who told her she had been sprinkled by lashings of glittery Sparklies that would be there forever. Well, that was a turn up eh? Sounds alright when you put it like that...so she took her Sparklies and decided that they would be rather useful in the niggly battle against the miserable bastards from Negativity Forest (they also tended to be joyless creatures, who were overwhelmingly in denial as to how fun sucking they were) These rather stench mired, foetid oafs only came to her in her imagination and did not have enough balls or swagger to have a sit down face to face intelligent chat, no, no, they would loom and lurk like filthy grus (Will you get a load of that now Mary, they sound like fecking Manc followers) Armed with the Power of Greyskull, Batfink's Shield of Steel and a kick ass basket of provisions for Grandma....the Maiden (who now appears to have a slight whiff of the old superhero vibe about her) shouted out an almighty feckin 'RAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH' and shimmied in her delectable bright red 5" Bordello Teeze shoes of untold beauty and heavenly deliciousness (yet to be purchased, but you know....for the purpose of the story.....) all the way to the ball in the big shiny castle. She twirled effortlessly past the sad sack chick snoring away in the glass case thinking "I don't need a Prince to kiss me and wake me up.....I need the actual Prince (pintsized popstar of perfection) to turn out a funky groove and make me wanna tear it up mo fo!"
So that is exactly what she did....she dances because it's how she beats the blathering Mancs, she has energy to burn but as yet not the right channels to use it to good effect (ie she needs a stimulating job that lets her chat all day and be Sparkly Fabulous and doesn't involve a school or kindy cos she's kinda over that now) and she crosses her fingers, clicks her badass heels and hope that one day it really will be Happily Ever After....cos it kinda has to be.......
THE END
So that is why I need sleep my beautiful Blogbunnies....who needs this crazy shit rolling around eh? Someone tell me how to switch it off will ya? Answers on a postcard......Oh yeah, The Soundtrack found a gem so hit it Sean Kingston. An added treat for y'all is my Trio of Daisy Age Deliciousness, just so you get where the opening lines came from. Thanks again for dropping in and so......to sleepville.....yeah? xxxxxxx

Times Are Good (In This Disco Dolly's Hood) x

Hello, and how are you all my beautiful, bouncingly bodacious Blogchums? I am all good (as the title states...)
So, my weekend of fun and frolics, began on Friday, a special day being that it was me and The Chief's 10th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!!!!!! I am still kinda freakin' out at the fact that 10 years have gone by since we got married. Needless to say, we've achieved a massive amount together, our very best work being our two delectably nibbleicious, highly entertaining, heaven sent bundles of complete gorgeousness, followed closely by our epic emigration adventure to the Zone of Godsville. Having looked up what random item is traditionally linked to your 10th wedding anniversary, I was mildly disappointed to discover that it was tin, until a friend quite rightly pointed out that tin rhymes with....gin! Hurrah! Happy days Blogsters!
So, true to form, myself and The Chieferoo spent the night both laughing like drains about all the stuff we'd already achieved and getting all focused about what the future holds. Had yummy-yumscious-yumorific Thai food, bought a big, fat bottle of Amaretto and put Chiefybaby in his happy place when we located some Hoegaarden on tap! Bring on the next 10 I say....let's see what the feckers can throw at us!!!
And this leads us to Saturday and hitting the d floor with my darling Pufferina Ballerina (Funkylicious Party Princess Extraordinaire) It had been ages since we'd done our groove thang and we were ready to throw some funk down...We were 'boyfriendsitting' for our chumwin, the completely sparkletastic 'Black n White Bear' and he turned out to be fun in a bun with extra mayo, sesame seeds and a side order of chips! The night was great, good crowd that got better as the night wore on and when Popsicle turned up from her function, she was in full effect. Miss 'I Don't Dance or Like Bars Very Much' was on fire!!!!! Way to get a surprise between the eyes! Dunno where that's been hiding, but it was spectacular.
Man, I love my friends, they build me up, keep me strong and heading in the right direction. They have their fun buttons firmly tuned to Dancerama FM and they have Sparkles for Africa. Each and every one one of my sunny bunny sidekicks both here and overseas brings something vital and special to the table and I sincerely hope I do the same for them.
Despite best efforts in the d floor ownership department, it would seem that my head still needs to recuperate and regroup from my 10 km wander. Well, that and the fact that the band decided to go all fecking mosh pit on us. Had to have a word: "Is this it kid?..or could you play some Stevie/MJ (early stuff, naturally)/Prince...) Your man replies: "I think the crowd are too young." SAY WHAT???????????? The crowd are what? OMG Blogbods it was something akin to a knife straight to the heart! They played some Al Green (Let's Stay Together) and ordinarily that would've done the trick, but quite frankly the damage was done. Dozy feckers...Off to Never Never Land? I don't think so! Enter Sandman I believe my nemesis song is called. I can't deny, it's a veritable d floor filler, the YOUNGSTERS love it, but it renders this Disco Dolly more than a little bit spastic dyspraxic (PC Brigade may as well feck off lol)
I liken my current Parkylicious situation to a game of Jenga. I was so feckin onto it that my tower was impressively massive and enormously huge and then the last brick went on and..........CRASH! Stifflerwiffler. So we start again.....gotta fake it to make it and slip on my pretty pink positivity pants (they're v fetching...suits you sir!) It's frustrating but, hey I'm a Tough Northern Bird, with a support crew to die for. The best is yet to come!.....I know this because I had a magnificent De La Soul moment (coupled with a few pep talks from the most special ones) and I can tell you it is indeed All Good. Fake It to Make It peeps...if you want it, it can be yours, you've just got to want it badly enough. So where's me feckin house?
Onto the Soundtrack.....Chic for the title track, De La Soul for my funky peeps and The track in honour of The Chief is nowhere to be found in my little brainicle so shall be a work in progress till I remember. It's far too feckin late and bed is calling. Mwahzicles xxxxxx

Ready For the Weekend!....Yes, I Rather Think I Am...

Woohoo Blogeroos, just a mega quick post to get you Funkeroos aware that Mama Sparkle is gonna be fully on it (like a car bonnet...again) this weekend. Tomorrow is me and The Chief's 10 year wedding anniversary (more of that to come) It will be so nice to have some time with just my 'Partner in Fun' and although he's going to be working that day, we're gonna have a great night, probably reminiscing like a couple of sad sacks but also plotting, scheming and hatching fabulous plans for the future. Yey! :-) Thanks so much for being on Bodlet patrol Pufferina Ballerina, we completely love ya!
Saturday sees me definitely regaining my Funky Fly Disco Dolly status......the Nana hips are long gone and I'm really stoked to be feeling so good, energised and dripping with beautiful Sparkles. "ONWARDS!.....to the Dancefloor!" It's gonna be off the chain my friends...off the chain! xx

Children......Ours Are Completely Acetastic and Deliciously Funny!

Greetings Blogbods and welcome back to my wonderful world of fun and frolicks!
Today, I will be mostly talking about the delectable funky infants that myself and The Chief like to call our kids. They're the Bin Lids, the Carpet Monkeys, the Ankle Biters, the Small People, the Bodlets, and so on and so on and so on.........
So, the exploits of these children are, quite frankly, worthy of a blog/book/psychology thesis in their own right as they are so outrageously comical, yet simultaneously pride inducing, end of tether reaching, head fuck generating, laugh out loud encouraging episodes that even the best fictional writer simply couldn't make up. The end result?... my heart about to burst with complete and total love and adoration for these two teeny tiny funksters extraordinaire. They share our home, our life, our every thought and they are just the most amazing people. We are beyond blessed to be the ones to mould them and afford them roots and wings. (The jury's out on whether they'll feel as lucky in the long run, lol!)
Just yesterday, I was regaling my dear old Dad (AKA The Dapper Don Disco Daddy) with tales of a seemingly 'normal' Day in the Life of the A Team. Agreed, it involved McDonalds (The Chief has, following a harrowing episode of food poisoning in the early nineties that resulted in the extraction of his appendix, ensured in no uncertain terms that our offspring baulk at the mere mention of "The Evil Clown") a trip to A & E and untold volumes of bird shit and runny ice cream, as well as tears, panic, laughter and a very interesting jumper (Princess Pumpkin: Who the feck?...what the feck?....lol, lol, lol...inbox baby!!!!!) That, my little Funkmeisters is roughly a synopsis of about four hours of a single day. Good innit?
I completely love the way my Funkydoodles are so very different. The way I know that I am forever linked to these kids who have the world at their feet...who can simply smile (or roar because at that particular juncture they are intent on being a tiger/leopard/cheetah) and make me melt.
Kids are the future and for myself and The Chief, it's all about the future. Our 'take it for granted' vision of the future took a bit of a knock, but these two beautiful Bods deserve for us to make like life hasn't changed at all. Sure there'll be 'interesting' times but we'll temper it with fun and laughter and make sure that they know there are four kids in this family of ours. Two big (who should know better, but thankfully don't) and two who will always be our babies. As for the Soundtrack.....Robert Miles, it just had to be...awesome tune, takes me right back. Stevie, as always says it so perfectly. Listen to his lyrics, they tell you everything that I feel about my fabulous, amazing, comedy genius A-Team. Once again...I am one lucky bunny. Enjoy peeps....x

Stronger.......So Sparklies Back the Feck Up!......x

Greetings Blogsters......hope to find y'all freakin' funkin the fiercest fabulocity in full effect (a little night time alliteration for your asses....lol)
So, you know how I said that, having done my 10km Walk of Off Road Awesomeness, I was like a proper athlete now and everything, innit? Hmmmmm, turns out I'm actually just about as feckerooed as I can be! My usual winning mantra of: "What's the worst that can happen?" has been right royally hijacked by the Sparklies, which has kinda leaped up ninja style and slapped my skinny (yet really rather pert, thankyou very much...) ass with the kind of wake up call that shouts out "You ain't all that Miss Thang!" Oh shit, I'd really rather got to thinking that I was in fact all that and that good old Senor SparklyTrousers was well and truly in his box, down a well in a forest in a land far, far away........
It turns out that working four days a week in the middle of nowhere, keeping up with The Bodlets, pursuing the state of ultimate domestic goddess-ness, maintaining an air of absolute sparkletastic fabulocity and undertaking a mega walk has kinda taken it's toll on the old bodwin. Until just yesterday, I truly had in my posession the hips of a knackered old eighty five year old and all the wibbly/shaky/stiffy/draggy boring pantsorific shit of old has returned (everyday I'm shufflin' eh? lol)
So, what to do my funky monkeys? Give up? Fade away?....Back the feck up there Mary, we never, ever, ever let this Spangledanglewankbag of Parky pisspants get the better of me! Uh-huh...yo mama etc. Oh yes, I know how this game works.....Senor Sparkletastico gets into me brain (like a trojan worm...one for the nerds there) and tries to Steal My Sunshine (see the Lyrical Tourettes is still in full effect) Well, no...you're feckin not havin it...for it's mine, all mine mu-hahahahahaha!
I guess I've gotta Believe the Hype (Public Enemy-ish), Practice What I Preach (Barry White) and aside from anything else, firmly trust and believe that I have The Power (the mighty Snap!) to but these Sparklydoodles to bed. I've done it once Chumsters, I can do it again. Cue Kanye then. A bit of a tool in my opinion, but this tune kinda fits. And, since I like to give youse two for one here's another class tune. So here we go.......or rather OK Go. Completely genius vid, wish I could do that on a treadmill....far more fun than running n'est-ce pas? Big love.....xx

Walk This Way! Hey Kids...I Did..... x

Well Blogmates......I did it! I completed my first major athletic challenge since the Junior Girl's Egg and Spoon race of 1983! Hurrah or what?
You know how I have a bit of a tendency to kind of agree to stuff without really thinking it through?....yeah, well when The Chief suggested that (once I 'came out to the whole wide world' about my Sparklies) I might like to follow it up with a physical challenge (not a Dare or even for that matter a Double Dare) "Exercise is good for the Sparklies!" I heard my trusty Info Grabber/Research Monkey declare. "It's been proven to alleviate the less funkylicious symptoms of that Great Big Fat Jelly Bus ride you're on!" I simply nodded and smiled and was heard to retort: "Sure, of course, that'd be grand...what's the worst that can happen?....where do I sign?"
Hmmm....Bugger....turns out I was signed up and did have to do it. Right so.....
Someone mentioned training (and trainers for that matter...more of that in a bit...) aahh, yes that old chestnut. All of this 10km Walk craziness just happened to be kicking off at a time when I was busier than a busy thing in a box marked 'Busy.' Timing eh? I had however told roughly everyone I knew that I was going to enter, copied heaps of sponsorship forms and spent time (that I didn't even have) tapping friends and even unsuspecting randoms up for cold hard cashola. "I'm doing it for the Sparklies people!!!!!" Feck, feck, feckity feck!
The Chief mentioned that the treadmill (dusty, neglected, forlorn little fella in the garage) could be more than a little bit useful. Woohoo.....on I hopped....and it turned out to be fun! I-pod was on, I morphed into athletic goddess/divatastic soul funkster with immediate effect and had a completely faborific time. "Sure this isn't going to be so bad" I'm thinking. Hmmmmmmm, naive much?
So, lots of people say they're going to do this epic feat of physical prowess and endurance with me, support is high, there are many positive comments yey! Turns out however that the box marked "Yeah, I'll Do it With Ya" is pretty much empty apart from the trusty G-Dawg. Not judging in the slightest Blogeroos, people have their reasons and that's completely cool with me, but honestly, I reckon if you're going to bother to do something like this, something so far out of your comfort zone that it's not even on the comfort zone map, it has to be all about you anyway and a very personal goal. I am so grateful that the people who were with me on the day were there, but as always...it was all about me. My challenge. My goal. My way of kicking the Sparklies right in the chestnuts.
And that is exactly what I did. The feeling of accomplishment was awesome. I did it with barely any training or serious thought and very newly acquired trainers (such a shameless last minute chick!) I am so completely stoked that I have already signed up for two more in the coming months! This time 21km Half Marathon Big Bastards (walking still...don't be getting carried away now will youse?) "Sure, of course, that'd be grand...what's the worst that can happen?....where do I sign?" Oh for feck's sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Soundtrack of the Post has got to be the old RUN DMC/Aerosmith classic, with a side order of Shakira because Holy Mary, the girl's spot on the hips don't lie and mine feel like they belong to an eighty five year old. Well she can have 'em back!
Mwahzicles to you all, now go on feck off on a big long walk...sniff the lovely fresh air and feel amazing!!!!!!!!!!!! xxxx

We Cold Rocked This Party Baby! xx

Well, Blogdedoodlepoodlepuffs......what an amazingly funpacked sporterific weekend this little chick pea has enjoyed!
Do you know something Pumpkins, as I say many times...I am one seriously lucky funker. I am blessed with having some spectacular people in my life. The ones I'm gonna tell y'all about today are the completely delicious Bay of Plenty Allstar Posse.......
We met them as newbies to this fabulous country when I (ahem...) joined a gym! I know, go figure eh! Turns out their youngest bodlet and our oldest bodlet were born on the same day. It was written in the stars!!! We became fab friends on the spot (these dudes even support the Mighty LFC!) and throughout the six years we've now been in NZ, they have always been a very important part of our lives and we fully consider them to be family.
When we left the BOP.....we just caught up when we could and it was always just as if we'd never moved away and that Blogsters is the measure of true friendship. We can go months with no contact, meet up, laugh like drains, eat far too much, never quite drink enough due to too much talking and usually end up in a competitive challenge (even swingball in the pitch black, lol)
I completely love these folks with all my heart and this weekend we have spent together has just been ace in the place! This is due to the following things.......
(1) I completed my 10km Offroad Walk today...GP did it with me, got me through and made it such a completely funtabulous experience that I'm totally up for more athletic fun and games (sure I've got the trainers now so what the hell!!!)
(2) NP is funny, funny, funny and is completely and utterly a bone fide diva extraordinaire! Driving through town with Vanilla Ice turned up to obscene levels......a hilarious 'Amazing Race' debacle in Pam's Palace and a Pizza Hut showdown (that very nearly became Smackdown) is quite frankly what normality looks like for this Sparkletastic friend of mine. I love it!!!!
(3) They were the best support crew a chick could ever have...great cheering small people!
(4) Rasputin.....there's nothing more to say...lol!
(5) Just Dance and Wii Sing extravaganza...we own their asses (apart from Tina, who has it licked)
There's so much more to add but for now I'll just say that sometimes in life people come along that are just special (no not jumper rubber special) but that you just fit with. They get you, it's always easy and uncomplicated when they're around and more than that you always just have fun, they love you and you love them. Blogsters, these people are worth more than gold! So I hope you have some in your life, cos mine are completely amazing. If you do, make sure you remind them how fab they are today.
NP, GP and the P-Bods......We sure as hell Cold Rock Any Party......now where's Barbie and Ken?.......Mwahs galore xxxxxx

Back Once Again For The Renegade Master (That's Me Mateypeeps!) x

I know...I know....I am officially a Bad Blogger. I am sorry Pumpkins for building you up with the most magnificent literary fabulocity known to the modern world (and accompanying epic tunes)...just to shamelessly leave you there dangling, desperate for more........
However I am back (Once again for the renegade master, D4 damager with the ill behaviour etc etc) with lots to tell:
House = greedy vendors, misguided buggers are well and truly pissing on our parade. However, the houseypoo for us is somewhere...out there (get back in your box Linda Rondstadt...this is not for you kid) Honestly Pumpkins, just as an aside, I seriously do think that Lyrical Tourette's is a legitimate condition with which I am utterly afflicted in the extreme. I hear song lyrics in everyday conversation all the fecking time...it's becoming serious....
Back to the houseypoo....we've almost bought three at time of writing, but as yet are still in the Dogbox. Still, we are not worried for our glasses are half full my darlings (mine with gin and lemon and lime bitters, The Chief's probably with a nice cup of Docker's tea) It will be ours...oh yes it will.
Stop the Press Funkydoodles...I HAVE PURCHASED A PAIR OF TRAINING SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!
I agree, I didn't think it would ever materialise either. I am well known for being a 'last minute chick' with an infuriating ability to just about cobble it together right down to the wire and I am probably way too far gone now to change. So, here I am kitted out for this Sunday's romp around the mountain internally chanting a feverish mantra of: Sure what's the worst that can happen?/How hard can it really be? etc Training you say?.....well I did a good forty minutes of huffing and puffing with a talented fella called Stevie. Aaah, get yerselves out of the gutter Blogbods....it was exercise on a treadmill whilst listening to Lord God Stevie of Wonderville. So there, that's that then, I have trained. Bodlet Number One's teacher asked me was it a case of the blind leading the blind? Hahaha.....wicked funny woman.
We will have friends of the utmost delectability coming over in order to support, encourage, sympathise and drink and be merry when it's all over and there will be other funkeroos doing their bit to help this bewildered bugger get round the course. It'll be funny and I'll be sure to meet plenty of randoms along the way.
Other stuff of note that has happened: (1) Met the loveliest, happiest, jolliest person in town today. I literally could have chatterooed for hours cos he was so nice. Even The Chief thought he was fab. There really are some genuinely awesometastic people in the world  and do you know what Funydoodlepoodles?...next time I'm in town, I'm gonna go in his shop and tell him and I think if you meet someone on your travels who is just ace  you should do the same.
(2) We now own 51" of viewing pleasure and no fecking house to put it in! How funny is that?
I am now waffling cos it's late and I'm off to the countryside tomorrow but feel free to keep commenting, tell all your friends, make requests for tunes of a most banging nature. Communication is King y'all. Ciao for now. x